Here I am stepping out and doing a post without photos. Sorry if you only like to look at pictures. I have none.
I want to share a small time this past summer that the Lord send a calm in the midst of a hugh storm for my family.
My youngest son, Zac, graduated from High School in June and he also passed the physical and signed up in the Delayed Entry Program of the US Marines. That meant he would be leaving later for basic training and would train here and work up until that time. All was looking good.
He had a job and then a month later, everything changed on one evening.
We had just gone to bed and turned off everything and he and his friend had just left the house to go "jam" with their guitars at another friends house.
All of a sudden the power went out.
It was July 3rd and it was hot.
So, I just layed there thought about how hot it was going to get with the air not working.Then my cell phone rang. It was Zac. "Mah, I just had a wreck, I think my ankles are broken" I thought he was joking because he had just had a small wreck about a week before.
I told him that wasn't funny. And then I heard that tone in his voice. I asked him where they were and they were still in our neighborhood. I said we would be right there.
Well, it was one of those nights where the moon was MIA and we couldn't see anything. I was dropping things and tripping and trying to hurry and the panick was starting to set in.My daughter, Rachel, lives downstairs and she heard the commotion and came up the stairs with a lit candle. Which was a huge blessing. We were able to get dressed and go up the street.
We found Zac and his friend in the front seat of his car which was completely smashed head on into a giant pine tree.
"Lord, help us".
It was a mess. They had hit a transformer and dragged it under the car and it crushed in the floorboard where Zac's feet were. He had no idea when he walked out of the house that night, that he wouldn't be walking again for three months.
Anyway, it was just a very painful scene and though, I was in a constant prayer and communication with the Lord, there were times, I thought I would lose it. He was hurting so bad and couldn't get out of the car and starting to pass out. The ambulance came, took him to the hospital and we met them there and spent the next five days in the hospital. After all the tests it showed he had both ankles broken. One was fractured and the other was crushed all over. It would need surgery. The swelling was enormous and the pain he was in was unspeakable.
That first night, around two am, they put us in a room and everyone else went home to get some rest. It was he and I and the pain just couldn't be managed and not to ever embarass my brave son, but, he was moaning and crying out. And as his mom, I couldn't do one thing to help him. They had a hard time figuring out which medicine to give him and what strength. It was just horrible.
I was trying to say anything to keep his mind off the pain or to distract him. Nothing was working. We both were crying. I was praying and praying and this went for hours.
Helpless. Scared. Sad. What about the Marines? How can he work now? What if the break is so bad he won't walk? All these things going through my mind. In between these thoughts.
Lord, you are in control.
Lord, you knew this would happen.
Lord, you have allowed this.
Lord, calm his heart.
Lord, help him relax.
Lord, we dedicated him to you as a baby, he's in YOUR HANDS.
Help him, Lord!
So, as he wrestled with this new pain. I just sat there and prayed outloud for hours. Finally around six am. I was so exhausted for him and for me and I wanted him to just sleep and he couldn't and it just felt so desparate. But, the Lord put a song in my heart. Zac probably doesn't even remember it. But, I began to softly sing this song that we used to sing at our church. I changed a few words to fit for Zac.
Here's the song;
QUIET MY MIND, LORD
MAKE ME STILL BEFORE YOU
CALM MY RESTLESS HEART, LORD
MAKE ME MORE LIKE YOU
RAISE UP MY HANDS
THAT ARE HANGING DOWN
STRENGTHEN MY FEEBLE KNEES
MAY YOUR LOVE AND JOY ABOUND
FILL ME WITH YOUR PEACE
quiet HIS mind, Lord
make HIM still before You
calm HIS restless heart, Lord
calm HIS restless heart, Lord
make HIM more like You
raise up HIS hands
that are hanging down
strengthen HIS feeble knees
may Your love and joy abound
fill HIM with Your peace
And after singing it through 20 times or more, he relaxed, he took deeper breaths and he fell asleep. Just like when he was a baby. Music and prayer calmed his restlessness. I cried. I cried a lot over the next few months. Watching your baby suffer and struggle equals crying for me. Watching him struggle through the surgery and the very long recovery was just very difficult. I think watching your kids hurt, really does hurt worse than if it was you.
There were many more times during this summer that the Lord just stepped in and calmed and took care of that it's too much to write now but, I just wanted to share one. Those three months of recovery were not easy. There were very dark days but, with Jesus, Zac overcame. He's walking, running, riding a bike. He has a new job that he loves. But, the Marines is in limbo as he has screws and plates in that ankle. But, like the song...Unanswered Prayers, we have confidence that God is directing Zac's steps.
If God anwers your prayers,
He is increasing your faith
If God delays,
He is increasing your patience
If God doesn't answer,
He has something better for you.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.